In Part I of my analysis on the concept of lunchtime miracle cures for cellulite...

...I stated that with today's knowledge and technology it is impossible to eliminate cellulite on one, two or even three sessions. In fact, my experience has shown that a course of anything between 10-20 sessions is required for best results in the majority of the cases. In this article I am going to analyse the four most popular - and expensive - miracles cures for cellulite: ultrasound, radiofrequency, laser and injection-based mesotherapy. But before that I would like to quickly make a mention on surgery as a solution for cellulite reduction.

Can surgery such as liposuction or smart lipo remove cellulite?

Liposuction and smart lipo are surgery solutions that aim to remove deep, "storage" fat from the body. This fat is found underneath what is called the superficial fascia, which in simple terms is just a layer or connective tissue sheath, that separates the skin from the deep fat and muscles. Cellulite in contrast is fat enclosed inside the skin and therefore can not be removed with a surgical procedure, as this would require the removal of the skin itself - not a good idea obviously...

Therefore smart lipo or liposuction ads promising to remove celulite with these procedures are completely unjustified and misleading. Those procedures do remove the underlying layer of "flab" but they leave cellulite itself untouched.

Ultrasound and cavitation for cellulite reduction

Today’s so-called instant cellulite reduction treatments are based either on three technologies (ultrasound, radio frequencies and high-level lasers) or injections. All four claim to disrupt fat cells and even kill them, either with sound waves or electromagnetic radiation, respectively. Ultrasound wave radiation produces an effect on the tissues called cavitation, which is nothing more than tiny air bubbles that can damage tissue through the effect of mechanical pressure. Those machines do produce cavitation but not enough to kill the fat cells - at best they just disrupt their function, at worst they just heat them. Yes, circulation is increased but there are cheaper and much more cost and time-efficient ways of increasing circulation. Therefore, these machines are no better than a good, deep celulite massage, but treatments with them may cost 2-5 times more money and require 2-3 times more time. Clearly, ultrasound as a way of increasing circulation in the cellulite tissues is a complete waste of money and time.

Actually, the only reason I would use an ultrasound machine for cellulite reduction would be that of increasing the absorption of a good cellulite gel (a time-tested and widely established process called sonophoresis) - but I would not dare charge people £450 for it. In fact I do use ultrasound to this effect as part of the tailor-made cellulite treatment I offer to my clients, but I do not charge a single extra penny for it and do not claim that their fact cells will magically disappear.

Laser and radiofrequency radiation for cellulite reduction

Laser and radiofrequency machines are based on the principle of heating the cellulite tissues to the extent of literally “baking” them, while protecting the upper surface of the skin with a cooling method - usually the blowing of cold air. The burned tissues are slowly replaced with scar tissue by the body, making your skin firmer in the process. In theory it sounds fantastic: cook the cellulite to the point it gets burned and solid (not much unlike an overcooked stake) and then let the body replace it with pure collagen! In practice, however, things are not so simple. The procedure actually works pretty well on the face where the skin is thinner and the treatment surface smaller, but unfortunately it doesn’t work so well on the hips and thighs, where the skin is thicker and the treatment surface is much larger. The surface of your thighs and hips is roughly about 8-12 times the surface of your face, requiring 8-12 times more treatments, which in addition have to be more powerful to penetrate the deeper skin and do their damage. The problem in this case hasn’t just got to do with wallet tolerance (paying 8-12 times the money) but mainly body tolerance. It may be OK for your body to react to a few grams of "cooked" face tissue, launching the inflammation processes necessary and repairing those tissues, but it’s a different matter altogether to react to one, two or even three pounds of cooked tissue: that would be a severe shock to the system, not unlike a bad burn or an injury, and wisely enough machine manufacturers never created machines with such raw power. Instead they just adapted the face machines for body use, so in return, all that these machines do is heat the tissues to increase circulation and somewhat contract loose skin - in a very, very expensive way...

Personally, I would never invest £30,000-£80,000 on such a machine and charge my clients £250-£400 for something that I can do better with my own hands at a cost of £80 to them. Conversely, if I was a client and had £1,280 I would definitely prefer to pay this money for 16 good cellulite-specific massages rather than on just 3 or even 6 radiofrequency or laser treatments.

Quite a few manufacturers and therapists actually are honest and suggest that you need to receive 16x sessions to be satisfied with the results. Now, 16 times £400 is £6,400, which could buy you 80x good cellulite-specific massage sessions. Now, if you were to choose between 80 sessions and 16 sessions, it is not so difficult to figure out what would give you the best results. Just imagine how would your legs looks like after 80 good cellulite massages...

Please do not misunderstand me, I don’t believe that radiofrequency, laser and ultrasound cavitation treatments are useless or ineffective - I just believe that they are overpriced and overhyped. If someone offers you these treatments for less than £100 per one hour session and explain to you that you will probably need 10-20 sessions for great results, by all means go for them. However, if they try to sell you a permanent lunchtime cellulite solution for £450 a pop, you’d better stir away from them and save your money for something more substantial.

No celulite treatment is worth £450 per session because no treatment can cure the typical cellulite appearance in less than 10 sessions, regardless of how expensive it is.

This is exactly what I suggested to the lady mentioned at the beginning of this article (the one who wasn’t impressed by my slow-yet-guaranteed approach, seeking a more radical solution instead): ”What you are looking for does not exist today, don’t waste your money looking for miracles. If you do not like the slow, responsible approach, then save your money for a holiday instead”, I advised. To be honest I don’t think she listened to me...

Mesotherapy as a miracle lunchtime cellulite treatment

Mesotherapy is a process whereby homeopathic remedies, drugs or nutrients are injected straight inside the cellulite tissue by multiple minute syringes. The process is obviously intrusive and quite often leads to severe irritation, bruising and inflammation, with the occasional severe systemic side effect such as fainting, hyperthyroid disease etc. - depending on the drug used. A certain mesotherapy procedure, called Lipotherapy (or more affectionately Flab Jab), has been banned in the UK as it was deemed unsafe by the authorities. Lipotherapy involves a mix of gall bladder acids (AKA bile acids or deoxycholate) and phosphatidyl choline (purified lecithin) being injected into the body. The promoters of the procedure describe it as soya extract (i.e. lecithin) that melts the fat but the reality is that they forget to mention that what does the job is not the lecithin but the bile acids (the same things you secrete to digest your food in your intestines) and it works by damaging fat cells and all surrounding tissues and by causing severe inflammation in the area - not by gently melting the fat.

However, although lipotherapy is banned in the UK, I do know of "flab jab" parties, similar to botox parties, taking place in London with the injections self-administered by the patients or administered by unscrupulous nurses, but I hope you will never put yourself to such risk...

Mesotherapy utilizing homeopathic remedies is a contradiction by it’s own very nature, going against all the principles and rules of homeopathy and has never knowingly produced any results for cellulite.

Mesotherapy with nutrients (vitamins, herbal extracts etc.) seems like a good idea, but still it is not a miracle lunchtime treatment: it requires several injections applied over a few weeks, and it’s results are not impressive and by no means permanent. You usually need to have repeat courses of injections every six months. In fact, I do occasionally treat a lady who does just that, and has been doing so for the last few years: she receives a very potent cocktail of drug-based mesotherapy injections a few times a week for about a month, twice a year, having to withstand the severe pain that these injections cause. Yes, she does get results but they are temporary (if they were permanent she wouldn’t need to repeat the painful process twice a year). So is the whole hassle worth it? I am inclined to congratulate this lady for her braveness, but to be honest if I ever had cellulite, I would much rather spend my “anti-cellulite budget” on weekly preventive holistic cellulite treatments than get injected every six months for weeks on end.

Mesotherapy with drugs may be effective but then you run the risk of those drugs causing side effects throughout the body, as a large proportion of the drugs injected are absorbed into the general circulation by the rich capillary network of the skin. I know of doctors using diuretic drugs and thyroid hormones, among other chemicals, in their mesotherapy cocktails. Honestly, I would not want to receive such injections. This is not the life I would like to live. And given that mesotherapy is very expensive, I think the holistic option would also make more sense financially.

Regular cellulite massages for cellulite prevention and reduction

In contrast to all the unnecessary expense and pain many women go through in order to prevent or reduce cellulite, some women choose to go for the natural way. They opt to regularly receive a good anti-celulite massage, which is pleasant, natural and healthy, as opposed to some painful, intrusive and unhealthy techniques. And they only pay £60~80 per hour as opposed to £250~400/hour. Given that both types of treatments have the same effectiveness, it makes sense to go for the pleasant and moderately priced treatment, as in this way you can have 5x times more sessions with the same money. Or buy a few pairs of new shoes with the £300 change!

True, a good cellulite massage is hard to come buy as it requires skills that many therapists do not have. In fact, most cellulite massages are no different to swedish massage or lymphatic massage, which evidently are not effective for cellulite reduction. In addition, cellulite-specific massage is very tiring for the therapist, requiring a lot of stamina. But if you can find a good cellulite masseur stay loyal - they will help you stay off cellulite for years to come!

It's all about cost effectiveness

Please do not get me wrong and let me make it clear again: I am not against laser, radiofrequency and ultrasound-based cellulite treatments - I just don’t think that they offer 5x times the benefit to justify the 5x times more expensive price tag. Paying anything above £80 per hour for a cellulite treatment is foolish - especially in today’s difficult economic times. However, I am against injection-based mesotherapy, as I do not think that the pain and cost (and sometimes health risks) are justified.

And please rest assured - as soon as I discover a treatment that breaks this rule and offers spectacular benefits worth a £200/hour or a £500/hour price tag I will amend this article ASAP and probably will start providing this treatment myself. The fact that this article is still here and you're reading it means that this treatment does not exist - yet!