One-off, permanent, lunchtime cellulite removal treatment: is there such a thing?

A few days ago I received a telephone call from a prospective client who was interested in a radical cellulite solution, something like those lunch-time "boob jabs”, "flab jabs” and lunchtime "smart-lipo“ we see advertised in the classified sections of glossy magazines. “I want to kill my fat cells once and for all with a non-surgical method, so that they never come back.", she demanded. "What I’m looking for is a permanent, radical solution to my cellulite, not just a cellulite reduction treatment”, she furtehr explained to me with the conviction of someone being 100% brainwashed by advertising hype.

Unfortunately, there is so much misinformation today about surgical and non-surgical beauty treatments and procedures, that people are led to believe literally anything. We are made to believe that we can detoxify our bodies by applying detox patches or by having detox foot baths, that cellulite can disappear by wearing MBTs and Fit Flops, and that fat can be completely and permanently eliminated from our body no matter how much we eat and how little we exercise.

A cellulite treatment to be effective must be holistic and gradual. Overnight fixes simply do not exist - not today at least.

I tried to explain to this lady that what she is looking for does not exist, and that cellulite reduction calls for a holistic approach that involves diet, exercise, regular treatments and, unfortunately, time too. Due to it’s very nature, being basically fat inside the skin, cellulite cannot disappear overnight with a surgical removal procedure such as liposuction, unless of course you want to remove your skin altogether. (liposuction does work because it removes fat stored underneath the skin, but this is deep fat - not cellulite). And at the moment, there is no machine that is proven to permanently destroy cellulite fat cells with a single application - not one! Most of the machines that claim to destroy fat cells with one application (think ultrasound lasers and radiofrequency devices) actually do not destroy the fat cells and do need 10 or 15 applications to be partially effective, making them as efficient as more traditional treatments, such as cellulite-specific massage, but at 200%~500% the cost.

A few weeks ago, I started treating a new client that had received one of those miracle lunchtime treatments for cellulite at the cost of £450 for a little more than one hour of ultrasound treatment. She was promised that only one treatment was all that was needed, possibly two, and her cellulite would disappear forever. Unfortunately she believed the hype and she coughed up almost half a grand, only to realize a few weeks later that her cellulite was exactly the same as it was before. Thankfully she didn’t have a spare £450 for the optional second treatment that would permanently seal the results of the first, and saved herself a bit of money. I explained to her my views on cellulite reduction and miracle lunchtime treatments and she agreed that this time she had to take it more seriously and go for slow and steady progress instead of the instant gratification approach.

Another client I started treating a few days ago paid a cool £750 for a handful of laser treatments, only to realise that it doesn't work at all and request some of her money back. Laser treatments are divided into two categories: low level laser therapy, which is great for musculosceletal injuries and high intensity machines which are great for hair removal and facial skin resurfacing. However, both are pretty useless for cellulite reduction, for different reasons. The LLLT is too weak to have any effect and the beam of the high-intensity ones is too small to make any difference for the large surface area that cellulite covers.

To be honest, if such an instant treatment exists and it is safe, I will immediately adopt it myself too. In fact every single day I check all the new research that comes up looking for ways to help my clients achieve better results, faster. In addition, I check all the trade journals, I travel abroad for trade exhibitions and I regularly evaluate and try new machines and new techniques. Who wouldn’t want to have instantly better smile, instantly better looking legs, instantly reduced wrinkles on their face? And what practitioner would not like to offer real miraculous results to their clients? The only reason I am writing this article is because I want to disseminate the truth as it exists today. If things change tomorrow, believe me, I will be one of the first to adopt the new miracle technology and provide it to my clients. But this technology does not exist today.

Let me put it differently, if money was no object and such a miracle treatment existed today then no rich or famous person would ever have cellulite, which evidently is not the case. Cellulite is the most democratic of aesthetic conditions, affecting both the poor and the rich and requiring as much diet and exercise effort from the less well-off as it requires from the wealthy. There is no cellulite surgery equivalent to face lift, liposuction, tummy tuck or boob job, whereby all you need to immediately get rid of your wrinkles or body fat is to spend enough money on a very good doctor. And there is no cellulite injection equivalent to botox: injection-based mesotherapy is too painful, expensive and temporary to be considered as a viable solution to cellulite. Unfortunately, cellulite reduction takes time and typically requires diet and exercise.

In Part II I will be analysing the four most popular and expensive miracle cellulite solutions, that do not make sense, both in terms of cost and effectivenes. Plus one that does not make any sense, whatsoever: surgery.