Anti-cellulite pants: absolute pants - excuse the pun!
Anti-cellulite lingerie: the next (il)logical step after cellulite-busting trainers and "cellulite-removing" jeans...
It never ceases to amaze me how pseudo-science can be used to justify irrational and illogical concepts for marketing purposes. A few years ago it was the so called "cellulite-busting" trainers - what a joke.. Now the latest hype involves "special anti-cellulite knickers" (granny's pants, I would say) that contain "Active Bio Crystals built into the microfibre yarn that absorb body heat and stimulate cell metabolism increasing blood flow to the skin; your skin appears smoother and cellulite is reduced", according to the blurb on the John Lewis website. Actually, I am amazed how could such a responsible company ever go down that route. I suppose the selling out of stock, the waiting list and the rationing of five pairs per customer explains it all...
Elsewhere, the Daily Mail explains the "science" bit:
"The pants contain crystals in the fabric that emit infrared rays once they come into contact with the skin. These rays heat up the skin and stimulate the metabolism of the cells. This increases blood flow in the skin which in turn causes the fat layers that make up cellulite to be melted down into a liquid. The liquid is transported to the liver and kidneys and excreted."
Now tell that to any doctor, physicist or biologist and they will either laugh out loud or burst into tears for the degradation of science by marketing departments and tabloid press. That was my initial reaction too (the laughing bit of course), but I owe it to my readers to explain why all this is "science gibberish", as another scientist interviewed by the Daily Mail succinctly put it. So here goes:
- Your fat does not need to melt in your body - it is already melted, as the body temperature is high enough to keep the fat liquid in your body. The point here is not to melt the actual fat but to melt the fat cells - and this is absolutely impossible unless you decide to fry yourself...
- Even if you could and wanted to fry your fat cells inside your body, how on earth can these garments produce all the necessary heat to achieve it? And if they did, wouldn't you feel the immense heat and burn? Not according to the marketing blurb - there is no uncomfortable heat. Your insides are burning but you don't feel a thing...
- And if heat was the solution to fat loss, surely people in hot countries would have no fat or cellulite in their bodies, right? Sunbathing, visiting the sauna or having a nice hot bath every day would be enough to keep every woman slim, right? By sunbathing, for example, we receive far more infrared heat than we would ever dream of receiving from any "anti-cellulite pants" with "Bio Active Crystals"... And, sorry to repeat myself, but you know what happens when you expose your skin to the sun's infrared heat: you burn! Well, I haven't heard of anyone getting burned by these cellulite pants. Oh, sorry, I forgot, the heat from the granny pants goes straight into the fat cells and leaves all other tissues intact...
- And if a bit of heat was enough to melt entire "fat layers" (let alone fat cells), surely we wouldn't be alive to tell the tale today, as even minimal heat would strip us (and all animals) of our fat layer, ensuring our disappearance millions or years ago?
- And who said that fat can be excreted by the liver, and especially the kidney, just like that? Fat removed by the body from fat cells re-circulates in the body and finds it's way into the muscles or other organs to be used as energy, otherwise it ends up back into the fat cells. Life would be easy if you could poo-poo or pee-pee your way out of cellulite and obesity. It would be nice: sunbathe a bit, melt the fat, go to the toilet and hey presto, you're slimmer!
- And finally, when was the last time you urinated fat? Fat is not supposed to be excreted by the kidneys and the few people whose kidneys do that, wish they didn't: this disease is called "congenital nephrotic syndrome", and it is not the best thing to suffer from, even if it helps you lose fat through your kidneys...
- Actually, I will stop here (a) because these are enough arguments and (b) because I wasted enough of my precious time on this subject...
- Using some common sense for a change, plain compression garments like these can obviously keep your "lumps" constricted, a thing that can be both a good and a bad thing (mainly bad). And graduated compression tights and stockings can confer some health benefits - just don't hold your breath regarding cellulite removal. Just click on the links to find out more.
To sum up: girls, don't expect to get rid of your cellulite with these or any other pants, tights, jeans pr trainers that melt away your fat. The only pounds that will melt away and magically disappear are the pounds in your wallet!